Are you enough? Just as you are?

The short answer is yes.

But lets explore the longer answer shall we?

Your lack of self-worth and self-confidence isn’t proof that you aren’t enough as you are, but it is a vital ingredient to the unhappy pie you find yourself constantly consuming. Contrary to popular belief you will get to where you want to be if you start to believe you are worthy enough just as you are, rather than feeling like you will only be worthy “when” you reach or achieve “XYZ”.

For one - your brain likes to be right. So whatever you feed it, it will go out of it’s way to prove as fact, and will even fabricate the truth to make you believe that it is right. So if you are telling yourself you are not good enough as you are, guess what… your brain will go…

“ok, how to prove this is true… I know! I will make it impossible to achieve the thing that I want because only worthy people get what they want. I don’t deserve the happiness of feeling like I’ve accomplished something, or the feeling of pride in myself, because that will fight against the thought that I am not good enough, and I need to prove myself right.”

And so, no matter how much you try, you will forever be stuck in a cycle of “trying and failing” because the thoughts you have fuelled your brain with have stopped you from even getting out of the starting blocks with enough gusto to make it to the end of the track.

But wont believing I am good enough, as I am, stop me from changing and keep me stuck somewhere I don’t want to be?

Short answer - no.

Long answer - When you have the belief that you are good enough, the world is your oyster.

You start to prioritise yourself and therefor the things that matter to you. So if you have a goal of weight loss (as this tends to be a big goal for a lot of people, especially people I work with) but you believe you are good enough as you are, you are not denying yourself the goal of fat loss but instead not placing your worth on your weight.

This then enables you to see things as a form of self care as opposed to punishment.

- Eating a diet rich in nutrients and for your health becomes less of a chore because you value yourself, and so the cycle of restricting and binging lessens until it no longer consumes you.

- Going to the gym/exercising becomes an act of self care because you know you are worth the effort rather than it being a way to punish yourself for not being good enough.

- Getting a decent nights sleep and doing what you need to do to reduce your stress levels become less like tick box exercises and more like enjoyable moments that connect you with yourself.

Knowing your worth only increases your chance of getting to where you want to be.

Your low self-worth is the thing standing in your way.

Ok… But how do I start to believe I am good enough?

Great question! But I fear you wont like the answer.

Firstly it takes time, patience and consistent effort. Things that are hard for most people to settle into.

You are undoing thoughts and beliefs of a life time so it won’t happen overnight. The epiphany won’t automatically come and then take hold, it requires you to put in the time and effort to re-programme your brain and beliefs and the patience to not get it right straight away and for the journey to be anything but linear.

You’re thoughts are not facts.

- Challenging your thoughts, allowing them to come and go, to not be seen as definitive is important.

- Learning to communicate more compassionately with yourself and subbing in curiosity for criticism.

- Reducing your people pleasing and increasing your trust in yourself.

- Understanding your boundaries and honouring them, even if it means pissing other people off.

- Deepening your connection with yourself through time alone, time in stillness, and even taking yourself on dates.

- Tackling any perfectionism and finding the fluidity in life rather than the extremes of all of nothing.

I appreciate these things might not feel like tangible things to easily implement, but they are the key.

I will do another blog on actually actioning things that will enable you to do the above and move towards a greater sense of self-worth, but I fear the length of this will be too overwhelming if I include it all here. So I will give you some time to digest before I ask you to open wide and consume the next spoonful.

However, if you are already hungry for more, please get in touch and discover how we can work together to get you to where you want to be without losing yourself in the process.

But the first thing you can do, and implement immediately, is to tell yourself everyday, as you start your day and as many times as you can throughout….

“I am enough. Just as I am”

Bettyoucan